what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
