Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize