K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
PANTIES FOUND
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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