i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
