is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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