I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
