this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
