You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
