I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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