We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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