You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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