after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
