Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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