just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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