Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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