kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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