the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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