It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
