There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize