Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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