I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
two words: eviction party
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
