STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
