So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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