i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
