The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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