those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize