Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
