is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
