I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
