Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
