i was rollin on her like bob the builder
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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