she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
