She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
