is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
