I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
