the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
