So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
did you just send me my own nude
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
