You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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