Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

he said i'm too pretty to suck penis

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.

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(208): View more from Idaho

She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".

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(616): View more from Michigan

i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.

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(716): View more from New York

I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.

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(623): View more from Arizona

That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?

(913): View more from Kansas

Asking for a friend of course

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.

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