my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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