O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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