After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
