You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Randomize
