We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
