i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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