is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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