dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
