omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize