Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he was CRYING into my vagina
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
