Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
