Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I need to stop coming to work sober
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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