i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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