Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
