if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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