And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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