She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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