In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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