If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
