So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
