shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
