Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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