her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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