I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
