in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
